So, how do i do this

How do i balance my intactivism with not wanting my son to be self concisous about his penis? My husband and I plan on telling him that we believed like Many americans that there were benefits to circumcision and it was just what you do. We will tell him, we are sorry for taking his foreskin away. His foreskin had a purpose and a great purpose. We will tell him, what we have found out medicially since then, so hopefully he will keep his future sons intact. But, i do worry that in sharing this with him, it will make him so aware on what he is missing, that it will take over too much of his life. And that is never my goal. I don't want to tell him, that there is something sexually wrong with him. How he feels about his genital is his own business. So, i question...how do i handle this delicate subject with him, when he is older? It can't be ignored, but it can't be drilled in sooooo hard, that he starts hating his penis(where he may not have beforehand). I at least have some years to find that balance

Letter to my circumcised son

Dear Hunter,
Do you know that your father and I tried to conceive for almost a year and had no luck? When I did got pregnant with you, I was so happy. Word can not even explain it. I was so careful during my pregnancy, maybe even overly so. I researched many aspects of having a child, but one aspect fell threw the cracks. We didn’t know if you were going to be a boy or a girl. By the way I “knew” you were going to be a girl. Seems silly now, I know. At the hospital I filled out all the paperwork and one was for circumcision and I am ashamed to admit it, but your father and I didn’t think anything of this at the time. We thought of a few things a little before though…one being every male is pretty much circumcised. Two That there were health benefits(reduced infections and diseases) . Three, no doctor would perform this unless it was a needed preventative measure. I have made many mistakes in my life and none I would really change, but this one I would. I would take that consent form and rip it to shreds. I sadly admit I didn’t read the fine print and it was kind of confusing, but again, I just went to number 1,2,3 and sign away I did. I birthed you and held you close to my chest after your birth. I was in shock you were a boy. Later the next day after lots of snuggles, I handed you over to the doctor for your circumcision with no apprehension at all. Frankly I think because I was brainwashed and like the saying goes “ignorance is bliss”. You were gone awhile and when you came back to the room you seemed “ok”. I changed your bloody diaper, but again I figured this was a means to an end. This would protect you. We took care of your penis exactly as we were suppose to. Always pulling down the remaining skin and using lots of Vaseline. It wasn’t until check ups when the doctors had to detach your skin that was reattaching that I was sent into my first shock. You screamed a horrid horrid scream and you bled. One time I took you over to your grandparents, so you grandmother can attest to the sight we saw in your diaper…quite a bit of blood. More than a little. I almost took you to the doctor and maybe I should have, but the doctor said a little bleeding was fine. I think he should have been more specific, because looking back it was more than a little. We dealt with these reattachments for a while. When you were maybe 9 months I met some mothers who were intactivst and did NOT believe in circumcision. One actually said that the procedure was one of insanity. I took great offense to this. How dare she…I was protecting you, not harming you. I defended circumcision for months after that…until one day I sat down and really dug into research. I cried and I cried. These “crazy” intactivst were right. I was shocked, absolutely shocked to find out the AAP doesn’t recommend routine infant circumcision. They said the potential benefits(so not guaranteed) DID NOT outweigh the risks. WHAT? Why are doctors performing this surgery then.? All other surgery on children the opposite is true. The benefits outweigh the risks. I was shocked to find out that in many other countries circumcision is just not done(except sometimes for religious reasons). In Europe the Circumcision rate is almost nil. What, again! Then I read about the little boys that died from this surgery. DIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I guess even though I knew it was a surgery, I didn’t view it really as a surgery. If that makes any sense. So, I knew after all this, that no other boys would be circumcised. So now came the hard part, convincing your dad. Although, to be fair, it wasn’t as hard as I thought. Maybe it would have been if you DID NOT have complications, but since you did, he agreed after a few discussions. I did have apprension about saving your brother…I mean I knew no matter what we would NOT circumcise him, but I didn’t want you to think we cared more about your brother. He kind of just got the luck of the draw being the youngest. I know that sucks and isn’t a good enough reason FOR you, but it is what I have. I want you to know though, that in protecting your brother, I was also apologizing to you . I was saying, I do this for him, but I do it for you too. Maybe that won’t make sense to you, but it did in my head. I loved him enough and you enough to save him. I will regret that I didn’t save you and didn’t look into this matter more closely. I am hoping you will forgive me and knowing your nature you will. I have saved a few other babies from circumcision as well. Those babies are for you too. I do this in your honor. Of course I do this for them, but you are always in my mind when I handle this delicate subject.

Love,
Mom

Can i move to Italy or Germany or maybe???? Circumcision

Sometimes i am so upset about how many people have been conditioned in the country when it comes to circumcision. How we are taught(including medical professionals) that circumcision is cleaner and better. So, i want to move to Europe. In many european countries, i would be surrounded by millions of people who thought like i do. That circumcision is a unnnecessary surgery and one that should not be performed on infants since there is no medical need for it. Sometimes i come out guns blazing on this issue and sometimes i admit, sadly i back down. People will tell me i should back down, it isn't my kid and why do i care since it isn't my kid. I care the same way a person cares about someone who has been hurt or abused...it doesn't have to effect my life to care(no I am not say those that circumcise makes you an abuser even if i disagree with it strongly...just trying to explain how i can care about something that doesn't "effect me and mine"). I don't think people that circumcise their sons(or daughters from those cultures that do) are horrible people. I myself circumcised my eldest in ignorance and i think many people circumcise in ignorance. Do you know how many people i suprise when i tell them things like "no health organization recommends routine infant circumsion". "In europe you rarely hear of a boy being circumcised and their intact penises are not infected at every turn". "Baby's have died from circumcision(yes extremely rare, but happens) and many have life long complications". Generally if someone has had a child circumcised they get defensive...i get that.. That was me when Hunter(my five year old) was a baby. How dare someone question my parenting? How dare she tell me i didn't have all the facts? How dare she say it is insane to take a perfectly healthy body part and cut it off for pretty much no reason?" How dare she??? Well, i thank god every day she dared. If she hadn't i may have lived in my bubble and had our youngest circumcised(despite my oldest having complications). Yeah, even with complications if no one actually told me the facts i may have still circumcised my second son, because that is what you do and better to have some adhesions(which are a big deal) than infections(cuz i thought intact meant infections and dirty). I'm just kind of rambling with this blog and not really going anywhere...but i have some quotes i'd like people to read.


"04/18/02

Hi. My name is Patricia and my son, Michael is 4 months old. His story is a very difficult one, but I am hoping that anyone out there trying to make a decision on whether or not to circumcise will read my story and learn from it. Some may call this an anecdote, but I like to think of it as a lesson to anyone who thinks that circumcision is something that is harmless or painless.

I live in the midwest. The idea of not circumcising seemed foreign to me. No one had ever presented a case as to not to do it, and truthfully, I didn't know that there was such controversy on the whole subject. I remember everyone telling me that this is just what is done and that it is a healthy and painless thing to do. I thought that all they did was cut the tip of the foreskin and the rest of it just fell away from the head. Shows how stupid I was.

I remember them taking my son from me, sleeping and wrapped in his little blanket. They said he'd be back shortly and that there was nothing to worry about. I was nervous and I had this funny feeling in the pit of my stomach- like maybe I should just let him be. I mean, I didn't see anything wrong with his penis, so why didn't I just say something?

An hour passed and I had heard nothing back. I was starting to get worried when the doctor came into my room telling me there had been a complication. The clamp they had used had gotten stuck and the head of my son's penis had been partially severed. He almost bled to death on the table and they had to put him under so they could try to reattach the head to his penis. I totally freaked out. Immediately the doctor left the room as I was sobbing like crazy, and my husband was in complete shock.

Three hours later the doctor came back and said they had been able to reattach the tip of the penis, but they would have to wait and see what the long term effects would be.

He has since had two infections and the scar site continues to bleed. He still cries everytime he pees, and we don't know if he will ever have proper function of his penis. He is scheduled to visit another pediatric urologist who will be able to evaulate him better and perhaps do a little more repair work. I will never be able to forgive myself for not being more educated on the subject of circumcision, and for not just being happy with the way he was. Not in a million years will what he has gone through ever be worth whatever supposed health benefits that circumcision is supposed to provide.

Although cases like my son's are rare, they do happen.I have violated the most private part of his body to satisfy some kind of bizarre cultural ritual. He will forever have the scars from my ignorance.


I have since filed a malpractice lawsuit against my doctor who did this, and have become very active in the anti-circumcision community. No one should ever have to go through this kind of pain. Even a "normal" circumcision is extremely painful for the baby. Imagine having half of your penis severed in the process.

Don't ever think this couldn't happen to your child. Don't ever think that it won't be your number picked from the hat. This doesn't HAVE to happen! That's the thing. There is no reason for this surgery and there never will be. There is no risk to just leaving your son's body the way nature intended it to be. The only time there are risks is when you introduce something unnatural to the equation. It's not worth it. People will try to compare this to car accidents or plane crashes. Some things are out of our control- however, this isn't.

I'm sorry this got so long. My heart breaks every time I write about this and every time I give my son a bath or change his diaper I am reminded. I sincerely hope that anyone thinking of this will think twice. Know the facts- and that is you have no right to put anyone through such pain based on ignorance and bias"-Patricia





"Circumcision: Not An Option. Let me explain myself further...also let me give you the european stand point on this issue. To perform or not to perform circumcision is not an option here....what I mean, there is no question which way to go.....not to circumcise is the logical answer and never is an issue unless for religious reasons. The whole act itself is looked at as either a religious ritual or a third world tribal practice. [It] stuns Europeans all the time when they find out that Americans actually choose to do this, and what stuns them even more are the reasons for choosing circumcision. I guess I just always took it for granted that my sons intact penis was nothing special, just like keeping all his fingers or other parts of his body intact. I guess, even in the most sophisticated societies, witch burning scenerios can still take place. I am sorry if this sounds so harsh, but coming from this side of the world, that is how it is looked at. I am glad to see that evolution is taking place..in the way that people are becoming more informed about this unneeded, barbaric practice." --Hollieann (1999)





"I'm an American who had the privledge of living abroad in the UK for 3 years. Now, I've always been an open-minded, fairly aware individual, but living in the UK I really learned how Americo-centric I was. It's truly hard not to be, because it's ingrained in our culture, and our education. But, it's really helpful to try to be aware of that when you are thinking and talking about other countries and their culture . . . because, believe it or not, we can learn A LOT from other people!

Anyway, I learned a lot about circ when my son was born in the UK. He was born at home (which, is also a wonderful and more common option overseas). Not having really thought too much about circ beforehand, we started asking our midwife and GP (doctor) about it, and were met with a look of horror, followed closely by a brief explanation that its really an uneccessary outdated procedure that isn't done anymore, etc., followed by an explanation stated outloud, but I think it was for their own benefit ... something about 'Well, I forgot that it's a cultural thing American's do.' We spoke to our European friends about it and were met with similar responses. We finally did the research, and realised what that what we had grown up learning and believing in the US really had little bearing on reality regarding circs. I'm so greatful we had that cultural reality check. America is the last industrialized country to move toward leaving our son's whole. I truly believe we will come around and follow suit from our European counterparts . . . It's already starting to happen." -Julie





"In the general United States population, the prevailing attitude toward circumcision -even in spite of the current controversy surrounding it- is one of non-chalance and even apathy. Parents will lots of times say that their doctor recommended it, yet every doctor I spoke to at a recent neonatal conference at a major teaching university hospital says that they do it "because the parents want it"; it is to save the parents going to someone else and/or because they feel that they "do good ones". The "blame" gets shifted, and through this, babies continue to be circumcised. It is a cultural force which is very strong."





"After reading extensively about circumcision, it is clear to me that the procedure is absolutely unecessary. The reported medical benefits of this surgery are constantly being called into question, and, even in the studies that claim to show a reduction in disease rate, the benefit is very small, usually just one or two percent. Also, UTIs and STDs don't seem to be more of a problem in Europe, where very fewer men are circumcised. Furthermore, medical studies of disease rates in circumcised vs. uncircumcised populations are really irrelevant when one examines the ethical issues involved in infant circumcision, which involves the removal of healthy, nondiseased, erogeneous tissue from a nonconsenting patient. It would be unthinkable to perform this surgery on female neonates in this country, even if the parents requested it. Doctors should not have the right to remove healthy, erogenous tissue from a baby's genitals for any reason, even if parents request it for "hygenic" or "social" reasons, or so that the baby "matches" his father. What the parents request is also irrelevant. The child's body is his own, and it is the duty of ethical doctors and nurses to protect him from harm while under their care. When a child becomes a consenting adult he will be able to choose circumcision himself, should he desire it. (Religious circumcision is a separate issue with its own ethical dilemmas.)

I was circumcised shortly after birth at the hospital. My circumcision has casued me countless hours of frustration and suffering. I first became aware of the problem, at puberty, when erections became extremely painful. the skin would tear and bleed, and my penis would feel extremely unconfortable, even when not erect. When I realized that the band around my penis was actually a scar, I was shocked. Later, in my twenties, I found sex to be highly overated. I didn't understand why it was supposed to be pleasureable. During this time, I started reading extensively about circumcision, and for the first time, realized that my radical circumcision was the cause of these problems.

I approached my HMO doctor with the problem, and requested surgery to relax the tension on the penile skin. He was very sympathetic and recommended that I have surgery, but informed me that USHealthcare would probably not cover it, even though the probem was clearly iatragenic. He referred me to a very good HMO Urologist, who examined me and confirmed my worst fears: yes, my problems were casued by lack of sensitive penile skin and a "tight" or "radical" circumcision. He recommened me as a good candidate for corrective surgery. USHealthcare, in spite of these recommendations, insists the problem is cosmetic, and will not pay for it.

If you look into the circumcision issue further, you will find that my case is not unusual. To get more information, you can read "Circumcision: The Painful Dilemma" by Romberg; "Circumcision: The Hidden Trauma" (just published; can't remember author) "The Joy of Uncircumcising" by Jim Bieglow, which has been tremendously helpful to me, and "Circumcision: An American Health Fallacy" by Edward Wallerstein.

Also, I would strongly encourage MD's reading this to check out DOC - Doctors Opposing Circumcision (http://weber.u.washington.edu/d60/gcd/) , an organization formed by doctors who question the ethics of routine neonatal circumcision. They have a good web site, and publish an online journal of peer-reviewed articles relevant to the circumcision debate. Finally, check out the "Fathering" (http://www.fathermag.com/circ/) web site's page on circumcision, especially the section on "botched" circumcisions and men's reactions to having been circumcised.

One last note- today it is possible for a man who has been harmed by circumcision to sue the doctor who performed it, during a two year period from the time when he first becomes aware of the damage. There are lawyers who specialize in circumcision law.

I would urge all medical professionals who read this to think seriously about the ethics of neonatal circumcision. Circumcising a child is serious business: the results are permanent and life-long. Circumcision has taken so much pleasure out of my life. I would urge you to learn from my example and stop subjecting children to something they didn't request and don't need."- J.M., May, 1997


http://www.circumcisionquotes.com/

Don't want others to regret

This blog I put out here, not to put fear into parents, but to let parents know these are real. I’ve read many blogs in regards to regretting circumcising ones son. I don’t want people to feel like I have/do. It is a horrible feeling. Now, if you circumcised your son and have no regret, I’m not saying I want you to feel regret. I’m not trying to control anyone’s emotions. I just want people to realize your child is NOT the guarantee, no child is…trust me I know. If you can go in with your heart and head totally around the fact that your child could be in that percentage of complications, then that is when my job is complete. I walked into it(with Hunter), thinking that sure a complication can arise, but was like one in 100,000 and it maybe something like a little too much bleeding. Well, no the complication range(around 5-10%) varies from a lot of blood loss to buried penis to adhesions to infections, to Meatal stenosis etc. I think that is what upsets me the most, not that people circumcise, but that they do it blindly. I was on of those people. I blame doctors/society. Even if a doctor is for circumcision I think he/she should plain list the risks (many do not) and I think they should be required to state the AAP policy and reinforce the parents that this isn’t a medically needed procedure. I went into it thinking I was preventing all sorts of infections and diseases with Hunter. And no one told me different. Yes, I signed consent, but a lot of this stuff WAS NOT mentioned or not written in plain English. I think doctors don’t say the risk for this surgery because there is such a cultural/social and in some cases religious attachment to this surgery, that they do not want to offend anyone. Infant Circumcision is like no other surgery…in the fact that it is done not to treat a problem that has risen or elevate pain. So, I think it needs to be addressed in a different manner.


This ladies blog about her sons complications and regret.

http://attachedwithapaddle.blogspot.com/2010/05/hard-post-on-touchy-subject.html

WARNING: images of penises that were botched in some way. This is for medical purposes, so nothing sexual

http://www.circumstitions.com/Restric/Botched1sb.html



I want to also touch on two things. One if you circumcised one or two sons and don’t want to for the next, you really don’t have to. I’ve encountered many women who did not want to circ another child, but felt they almost had to. They thought the oldest one would be upset that they didn’t “save” him. Or because the whole looking different thing. I firmly believe that if you address the issue and explain your sons will be ok. Way more ok then if your second does come out of his circumcision with a complication.

Second…I’d like to touch on religious reasons for circumsions. Circumcsion today is totally different than that of 2000 plus years ago. Only the tip of the foreskin was cut on and a few drops of blood dripped off the penis. And if you think about it…that makes sense. Do you know how many severe infections and death would have resulted if they circumcised like we do today? No sterile equipement or antibiotic cream/ or medicines for infections.

http://www.amazon.com/Marked-Your-Flesh-Circumcision-Ancient/dp/019517674X/ref=pd_sim_b_2

I'm so much more than that

I am a passionate person(obviously look at my "name"). I have strong strong opinions and like to speak out about them, but I am more than that. Yes, I am the intactivist and proud of it. I'm the gay right activist and proud of it. I'm the car seat informative and proud of it. But, lately i feel like I am being defined by my passions and not me as a whole person. I will always love a good debate and always look at some people like they've "lost their marbles". I'm not naive either, i realize some people look at me that way... *cough*mydad*cough*. I am a person who hates her weight and hates that she doesn't have the will power to change it. I am a person who thanks god everyday for 2 boys(and no girls). Nothing against girls in general, it just seems all the females in my family have some major female problems, so it is nice to realize my kids won't have to deal with that stuff. I am a person who loves loves to read trashy romance novels. I am a person who really really wants to move to the East Coast. I am person who loves those that don't agree with her. I've always said as long as you aren't a prejudice person, compulsive liar, or abusive i will probably be your friend. And I am person who is of late, not as patient a mother as I should be. Point being, I'm just a person!

There are many like me out there

I have read soooooo many blogs about women who regret circumcing their son(s). Many have also decided to keep future sons intact.

Love this women's blog

http://meg-isms.blogspot.com/2010/08/knowing-better.html

I have been reading too much lately...circumcision

In the past week, i have read about 5 other blogs/articles concerning "bothced" circumcisions. One a child nearly bleed to death and needed emergency surgery. One child has need 2 extra surgeries to correct meatal stenosis(narrowing of the urthera) due to his circumcision. One child has adhesions like Hunter. Another from a grown man who can't have satisfying sex from a botched circ. And finally one about a poor baby dying from his circumcision(due to blood loss). Many people don't understand why the issue of circumcision is so important to me, well this is why. Yes, many men/boys you know probably don't have any "problems" from their circ., but many do. I keep hearing more and more stories of bad circumcisions. The internet and the fact that we are in 2010 has made more people open to discuss complications. I'm sure in 1960, 70, and 80...there were all these problems, we just didn't a.)talk about it or b.)didn't have access to hear these stories(gotta love the internet.) The major reasons, i hear to circ are
1. Cleaner(just a myth...if you don't believe me ask a european man or women for that matter)
2. Needs to look like dad/peers. Well the peer argument is loosing it's fight as the circ rate is slowing down. As for the dad part..i find it selfish and dumb...yep i said selfish. Why does a man care if his son's penis looks like his? I mean if the dad has black hair and the kid has blonde is he going to dye his sons hair(and this would actually make more sense as seeing as everyone sees his head and not many will ever see his penis). Men, get off your high horse and actually practice what you preach(you know the whole it is ok to be different line we tell our kids)
3. Looks better. Who says it looks better? YOU? Last time i checked what looks good to one person, doesn't look good to another. Plus the owner of the penis is the one who should decide how his penis should look anyway.

4. The newest one is reduces HIV/STDs. Yes, some flawed studies have showed this and the scary part is some medical groups believe it. But all you have to do is look at Europe's cir rate(which is extremely extremely low) and compare it to our cir rate and then compare the HIV/STD rate. Europe's HIV/STD rate is lower than ours and our adult males are highly circumcised. Not to mention condoms are the safest measure to protect agaisnt STDs. i would never do any genital operation on my daughter to reduce her chance of STDs, so doing it on a boy doesn't make sense either. Plus like the looks better argument...it should really be up to the owner of the penis if he'd like to be circumcised as a STD preventive measure.

I know to many, i'm just repeating myself, but it makes me feel better. LOL.

I don't understand

I just don't understand how someone can be sooooooo against gay rights? How does someone being gay and getting married and adopting children effect your life? I don't understand how a gay couple who is in a monogmous relationship and follows the laws and does NOT hurt anyone such a problem? You don't agree with their lifestyle, ok fine. No one is asking you to. Sometimes, I don't agree/understand others lifestyles, so therefore i DON'T follow them MYSELF. I had someone tell me one time and i quote "Being gay is a sin, the bible says it is." While he is saying this he is living and having premarital sex with his girlfriend(something the bible also says is a sin). Hypocrite much!!!!!!! Of course i don't think there is anything wrong with premarital sex(as long as your smart about it), but please people stop picking and choosing things you follow from the bible.

NO TO CIRCUMCISION!!!!!!!!!!

"A woman was recalling how her son, had nearly bled to death after his ritual circumcision. She was so traumatized that she never had a second child. she couldn't face the dilemma, of whether to do the deed or not. Yes, despite the fact that her son had almost died, it remained a dilemma for her. She could neither circumcise another son nor face having an uncircumcised son. So, she had no more children. " Dr. Goodman


I'm glad i had the power to say never again. Yes, i didn't have religion to worry about, but i had family, friends and society to tell me i was wrong. I had to deal with explaining to EVERYONE why i was doing this(or i guess not doing this). Why I was going against the "norm" . I had to deal with people telling me i was wrong, but i stood my ground. For my sons... i would stand up to GOD himself if he came down on this earth to question me(not a very popular response i get when i say that though...LOL) . Hunter I'm sorry, i didn't know sooner. I'm sorry i was blinded by what society told me was right. Landon, I'm so glad you were spared. I'm glad the decision will one day be your choice, not mine or your fathers.

And to Jeff...you are such a awesome father and husband. You took the time to listen to me, to understand that medically it was not needed. You got over the fact that your second son would not look like you. You were selfless, when many men would not have been. I love you and I love your willnessing to hold my hand and our sons hands and say "not MY family, not ever again" .

I know when i put this stuff on my FB or my blog, i'm not the most popular person. But I told myself when Hunter was a baby, that his reattachement complication from circumcision would not be in vain. I would let people know that even if you don't agree with me, i will talk and will spread the word. I can not make someone else listen, but i can make myself speak and speak LOUDLY!!!!!!!!!!!!

You are entilted to not agree with me, but please don't tell me what to post and not post...circumcision

I don't think you are a bad parent because you circumcised your son. And of course I know you went into thinking this was the best decision for your child and your family situation. But I will continue to post how I feel about circumcision. I feel it is an unnecessary procedure with little to no benefit. In fact all health organizations agree with me, because no health organization recommends routine infant circumcision. I know some doctors do recommend it and i don't know why. Maybe because they themselves are not perfect and believe the myths that many believe. Doctors ARE NOT perfect. Doctors have made many mistakes over the years. Back in the 50's some doctors would actually recommend one brand of cigarette over another. A surgery my mom had some years ago for her reflux is now not the recommended course. So, maybe, just maybe we as a society can realize the mistake we made starting this surgery(which was started to curb masturbation actually). Some will say there are benefits...like reducing infections. Yes, the foreskin could possibly get infected, but so can any other part of our bodies. IF you cut off my pinky finger then of course my chance of my pinky being infected is eliminated. Lets not forget it reduces the chance of penile cancer(but this cancer is so rare, men are more likely to get breast cancer). Now, I'm not minimizing this for men who've had penile cancer, because I'm sure to them it does not matter that the cancer is rare. My point is that we DO NOT remove any other part of a baby's body because he might get cancer as an adult . Again, any part of the body can get cancer. I just don't' get why we apply this theory ONLY to the foreskin. IT is mind boggling really. Then there is the reduces HIV/STD argument. Anytime an article comes out supporting this theory another article comes out disproving it, and the back and forth of this continues. So, please take this with a grain of salt. Not to mention those that support this argument also say safe sex is the most important way to reduce HIV/STDs. Finally and my favorite is the fact that doing it as an infant means you won't have to do it later due to Phimosis or something of that nature. First off Phimosis is rare and can usually be treated in other ways(like steroid cream) before jumping to a surgery(although some doctors will jump to surgery before trying other methods). And if an adult male does end up NEEDING this surgery, well then it will be like any other surgery a person gets in their life...ONLY DONE WHEN MEDICALLY NEEDED!!!!!!!


Some quotes I love

"Risk assessment for an unnecessary surgery must be held to a higher standard than that for a life saving surgery. We accept that heart transplant carries with a substantial risk of death, but without it there is a certainty of death. On the other hand, the risk from circumcision, which has no therapeutic value, needs to be zero for the infants sake, all the more so because he is never consulted about weather he wishes to take his chances"- Doctors against circumcision
-
"American graveyards have hundreds of thousands of dead, HIV positive, circumcised males. The CDC reports that 80% of ADULT American males are circumcised. When HIV was first discovered the rate was over 90%. The United States has the dubious honor of having a extremely high circumcision rate and the highest per ca pita HIV rate in the developed world.

HIV is a disease of behavior. If you want to avoid HIV, you need to practice safe sex and avoid needle drug use or at the very least sharing needles. This means periodic testing and 100% condom use unless one is in a faithful magnanimous relationship were both partners are disease free. Proper behavior is the only things that will protect both men and women, gay and straight, from HIV"-anonymous

Car seat safety

Did you know the AAP now recommends keeping your child rearfacing until at least 2 years of age? Not 1, but 2. There are many rearfacing seats that can keep a child rearfacing until 40 lbs. Going past 2 years is nice if you child is still within the limits of their carseats rearfacing requirments. Many studies show it is just safer and seeing as it is someting so easy to do for your child, i ask why not? Once they are turned forwardfacing, keeping them harnessed as longg as possible is best as well. There are seats that harness up to 65-85 lbs. yes, some are expensive, but the Graco Natilus is about $150. I personally think it is worth the money. Then please keep your child in a booster until they reach 4ft9inches.

They have names

Hunter
Tommy
Sam
Richard
Kevin
Ayden
Jonathan
Franklin
and many more

They have names, they are NOT just numbers or percentages. These boys are human beings that were circumcised and came out of the experience with problems(some have been "fixed" and some have not). TO think it won't happen to your son, well that is just ignorant. I'm not going to repeat myself on all my beliefs on this issue or doctor's actually going against ever health organization to recommend this procedure(you can read that in my other blogs anyway). I just want people to see the names. Place a name to a number. Maybe shed a tear for them.

Just kind of a Public Service Announcement

Anytime i post a blog or something on FB, I don't expect EVERYONE to agree with me. Sometimes, I'm stating my opinion and other times just putting out medical research or other research out there with my opinion tied into it. I am very strong in my opinions and blunt and will even admit, i don't understand certain reasoning's. BUT that doesn't mean I think that someone is a bad person, nor am i judging them if they don't' feel the same way as me. So, just know that sometimes I put up what i do to VENT or sometimes to educate. I don't do it to degrade anyones choices. The education part is important to me, for several reasons. Mainly, because there is so much info I have come across as a parent, that i myself would never have thought to look into, if i hadn't met another parent who did A, B, or C , when i was doing D, E, and F. After talking to them and looking into things I changed my mind some and I thank those people for that. Of course on somethings, i haven't changed my mind. When I had Hunter, i was around no other modern parents. Yes, i had my parents and my in laws and i appreciated advice from them, but they weren't parents in today's world. A world were carseats weren't as important and boosters were never heard of. A world were babywearing was some odd thing(might still be to some people i guess) . A world were Organic was not a word really known in the food industry. So, when you are going off info from your parents generation, you may be a little out of the loop. I like to help bring people in the loop. And then of course it is up to each person to do what they feel is best for their child/family for their situation.

PS....I also love when people bring me in the loop too, because obviously i still have much to learn as well. I think everyone can always learn something new.

Ok, i'm going to make this super short, otherwise i'll just get annoyed

OK, I'm sure most of you heard about how a school cancelled prom due a lesbian student wanting to wear a tux and bringing a girl for a date. What really got me when reading those articles was how many people were blaming the student. How dare she ruin prom for all the others students. NO, how about how dare the school make this outright stupid decision and ruin the prom for all the students. I mean do we then say...how dare those black student ruining lunch for those white people by protesting white only restruants. Or how dare those women ruining those men's voting experience by protesting the inequality of the voting system . If no groups that were being discriminated against stood up for themselves, where would we be? Would we still have slavery? Would women still be property of their husbands? Seriously inequality is inequality and good for all those who stand up to this BS!!!!!!!

RISK/benefit of circumision

Benefits of circumcision:
-Reduces the risk of urinary track infections(but many times you won't read that the chance of boys getting UTI's is about 1% and most of those 1% are premature babies and those babies are at increased risk for all types of infections). Plus and occasional UTI is no reason to operate on a child
-Reduces the risk of penile cancer. Penile cancer is rare, the chance of getting it is less than 1%. The American Cancer society even states that they do not recommend circumcision as a way to reduce the chance of penile cancer. Not to mention we do not remove any other part of a newborn in case of cancer as an adult.
-Some studies have show a slight decrease in some STDs and HIV transmission. Although i am finding more articles saying otherwise, but lets say for arguments sake this proves a solid beneift, it is not a 100% form of protection, not even close. Abstinence and condoms are the best way to prevent HIV/STDs. A point that i struggle with when looking at articles that do support this however is: Europe has a very low circumcision rate, yet their HIV rate is lower than the USA(which has a higher circumcision rate). Maybe Europeans are just smarter or picky about their partners. Plus i say, if an adult male feels this is a great measure to protect himself, then he can choose to circumcise himself with his full consent.

*It isn't cleaner to be circumcised, that is just a myth started years ago.

Risks/complications
-Bleeding
-Complications from faulty surgical equipment
-Infection-particularly the hard to treat MRSA
-Poor cosmetic appearance
-Rash and irritation
-Buried penis(penile shaft buried below the surface of the pubic skin)
-abnormal downward bend of the penis
-narrowing of the urine channel(urethra) at the top of the penis
-Skin bridges(foreskin reattaching to the penis, which was exactly Hunter's problem and as you know it has been a big problem)
-Death(yes rare, but it does happen)
-Too much bleeding
-Some evidence shows reduce sexual pleasure(seeing as the foreskin has nerve endings)
I'll be honest, MANY babies circumcised come home healthy and with minimal to no problems. But the number that do, is probably higher than you'd think. It can be as high as 10%according to some studies. And some complications are not seen until adulthood and a man becomes sexually active and some men are too embarrassed to admit it. I have said it before and I will say it again. It is one thing for your child to have life long problem/death from a surgery that would have improved/saved his life. Circumcision does neither of these.

Side NOTE: I have had people say that their grandfather(older relative) has had problems keeping his foreskin clean after he reaches a certain age. At this point, it smells and gets infected. To that i say: IF that is true, i know if i were a man, I'd choose having to live with that for 5-10 years than living my whole life from a complications of circumcision. I realize a complication may not happen, but i also realize neither could the elderly infection/smell occur.

I want to like her and she wants to like me

So, i have this friend(more like a friend of a friend) and we kind of clash sometimes. We think the same way on many issues, but our approaches to everything is so different and sometimes it causes conflict. It is though, I want to like her and she wants to like me, but we just kind of can't come together. Who knows if that made any sense. LOL. I am better friends with people whom I totally disagree with on 50% of my parenting beliefs, yet her and I are probably more 90% in closeness. I would say that maybe we are too much alike, but then I think no because the friend we share in common is close in beliefs to us too. I don't know what it is. I can't pinpoint it and I bet she feels the same way. I have tons of respect for her and wish her nothing but the best, but i just don't see us ever being "tight" and "on paper" we should be.

Short, sweet, and might not make sense

Soooooooooooo...I told my husband that I really like his baseball and football teams a lot now. He asks me why and the reason made him laugh, but hey they make sense to me. Washington DC just started allowing same sex marriage , so GOOOOOO REDSKINS. And Maryland at the very least recognizes same sex marriage performed legally elsewhere. So, GOOOOOOOOOOO Baltimore Orioles.

Yeah...i'm that annoying intactivst

Soooooooo...I've been called overbearing in this area and I'm sure I am, but i don't find that is a bad thing. My oldest son is circumcised and it was the biggest mistake I've ever made as a parent. He had reattachment issues and bled quite badly. He is now 4.5 and still occasionally complains of his penis hurting. I worry that this will effect his sex life as an adult and it possibly could. I did not look into the "benefit"/risk scenario before circumcising. I mean why would I...that is just what you did, it was for the best, like breastfeeding is. Doctors made me sign a consent, but the consent really only mentioned "normal" complications from surgeries in general. Nowhere was it listed the complications that only happen from circumcision...like reattachment. And then many doctors after the fact, make reattachment like no big deal. Yeah tell that to my baby bleeding from his penis after you "detached" it. I was in denial of the first year of his life. If anyone mention circumcision, i supported it, because by not would be admitting my mistake. And this was no simple mistake, it was a HUGE one. Finally, i admitted to myself what i had allowed to happen to my little baby. IT was gut wrenching and traumatizing for me, but I'm sure it was way more traumatizing to my son. SO, my goal is to educate people. I know i may only change 1 in 100 people's mind on circumcision, but that is 1 baby saved. Saved from possibly even death. Yes, rare, but it HAPPENS. I've been told well all surgery involve risks. And yes that is true, but pretty much all other surgeries on children will improve their quality of life or SAVE their life, while circumcision does neither of these. So, to have your child die from something that would not have help him in the least bit, well that is just incomparable. I also get the myths thrown around about how it is cleaner and all that BS...seriously, people!!!!!! I give medical stats, after medical stats, and of course most of the time it does nothing. 80% of the world is intact . We in American just have this overwhelming urge to operate on a child for really no good reason...Health organizations have not recommended routine infant circumcision for years. UMMMMMMM...wonder why? Oh, that is right, because it isn't necessary. The fact that doctors themselves still recommend or perform it is what is really baffling though. I truly think some of it stems from the fact that: then they as person would have to admit they were cut for no reason or they cut their boys for NO REASON... of course that is just my opinion. The on call pediatrician when i had my second son (who is intact, thank you very much) asked if we were circumcising. I said...no and he started listing "benefits" and i said to him. Why would i have you or my OB perform a procedure YOUR OWN ACADEMY doesn't recommend. Yeah, that shut him up. What could he say. Well, that is it for now...I will back to annoy more later.

Video of a circumcision(no this isn't to freak out parents or put fear into them, but to realize what is involved in the procedure)
http://video.yahoo.com/watch/163488/562046

Love this for scriptures. I have had many non jewish friends say that their religion favors it. While it is catholic, it does pull quotes from the bible(so great for an Christian religion really)
http://www.catholicsagainstcircumcision.org/

AAP policy on circumcision(and actually the AAP is the most "laxed" on circumcision as most other countries out right say "no don't do it" pretty much)
http://aappolicy.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/pediatrics%3B103/3/686

Dr. sears-
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/1/t012000.asp

http://www.catholicsagainstcircumcision.org/cac_main.htm


*may have to copy and paste links